life of a PICAYUNE

why is GOD so merciful and graceful that he shall ALWAYS GIMME A BOYFRIEND RIGHT BEFORE MY MAJOR EXAMS???!!!

kns ttm.

i cant study with all these negative influences seriously... pls GOD, just cause i dun pray that much doesnt mean i dun love you... please spare me some strength to pit against my lazy bugs!!! >.< I REALLY NEED TO STUDY!!

but anyway... ________ is really cute!! >.< he is like so shy and sensitive (?) in my presence... XD abit he s so sociable to others i really cant see the reason why he always have that on-the-edge look when he s with me... like he s jumpy to every touch of mine and stuff! XD

anyways... skip all those soapy drama details, we went out on friday! :D it was a tad awkward at the start, i can totally see I-AM-FREAKING-NERVOUS in his eyes and all the stiff (but cute!) movements. but things got better quite fast! :D and eventually everythin was really cute! ^.^ HE EVEN BOUGHT THIS SMALL LIL JAR OF SWEETS FOR ME SECRETLY AND STUFFED IT IN MY BAG SECRETLY TOO! XD so sweeeeeeet!! ^.^ i was really quite nervous at first too but upon seeing his fidgity self, i kinda cant help but feel much better haha! and ICE AGE 3 is really hilarious and interesting! BUT the best is still all those small lil shocks / surprises (eg dinosaurs popping out suddenly), totally gave me the opportunity to hide at his shoulder! :P saved me the trouble of watchin a horror flick instead... (which i am really REALLY reluctant to) AND OH OH! did i mention i think he smells really nice?? :) :) like... er... i dunno! i just liked it. :P but i secretly worries that do i stink?? >.< maybe i do and he s too shy to point it out...! maybe i should spray sth too >.<

anyway! he kinda said (after the movie) that he was secretly watching me instead of the movie... :P i hope i din embarrassed myself too much! >.< but i think that was quite cute too! XD abit the movie screen was super big and right at out face! yet he keep lookin at me... :) :) maybe he does like me quite alot huh?? ^.^ and he also said he was quite shocked when i did hide at his shoulder... :P so cute la! totally can imagine how tense he was... abit he cringe whenever i touch him before that...

OH OH! and i am proud to say that i made him send me home willingly! :D :D haha! used j_____ and that a-drunkard-tried-to-pounce-on-me-once story to get him to send me home happily, gladly and willingly :D proudness! haha!

BUT we went out to study again today! XD and i have to say the biggest progress is i actually SLEPT ON HIS SHOULDER on the mrt! ^.^ i could totally sense his tension and nervousness from his super stiff shoulder la!! XD cant help but grin abit :P but then he put his head on my head too... and that was really sweet :) :) even tho its not exactly the most comfortable shoulder (how can it be? it was SOOOO stiff! haha!) it was the nicest shoulder i ve ever lie on :) :) i really felt quite blissful as i smell his really nice smell and hold onto his arm :) :) but to tell the truth... I WAS FREAKING NERVOUS TOO! XD heart pounding quite fast... yet find his smell very comforting (not to mention his nervousness just made me feel braver! XD) what a weird and complicated feeling huh?? :P i dun think i did experience these when i was with g_____n... :/ and OH OH! we walked in the rain abit too! at bugis. i am too shy of holding his hand/arm/ any body part so i just kept holding on to his shirt like a little girl, but eventually when we were crossing the road he did tried to hold my hand for a while!! >.< i was quite shocked i must say!! and totally feel blood rushing to my face! XD (maybe thats why i started spouting a bit of gibberish after that :P) haha... so weird huh? but ok la... i think i kinda like this weird feeling... ^.^

speaking of g_______n, his msn nick has changed to 'you, you are busy living your own life' from 'please don't love him and come back to me'... a bit telling ah. ppl really love to express stuff that they dun wanna say but dying to tell on msn i see... aish. well, i cant do anything else to help him right? i mean i alr made it clear to him... talked it through, made my point, he gotta get through it himself. :/ but i do feel sorry for him though. alot. but then again, as cindy said, any sort of pity is pure cruelty to him now.... so i guess cruelty is the best show of pity then :/

and j_______ also. his msn nick is actaully 'just F*** everything and restart'! 0.0 i dunno whether thats aimed at me too but his prev nick seemed to so i am inclined to believe there might be a trace of link... maybe its cause he knows that i am studying w _______ today, maybe cause i din reply his message / sms him when i wake up as he told me too... i dunno. i just think he is indeed a nice guy and good studying partner but sorry, dun like him and i alr liked someone anyway :P aish... feel so mean now! and not to mention sherman keep smsing me and treat me like his bff and stuff! >.<

why in the world did my world become so GUY INFESTED???! weird. 

bleah. i like peace and quiet better. all these attention are driving me nuts!!! >.<

PS: still wonders why do they like me??? i see no redeeming points... 0.0

I bought a NOKIA music edition 5800 finally :D Well, it serves me well, quite good and stuff but the camera is a tad bit too fuzzy with a really dark tone, so really dun compliment my alr dark ttm skin tone *bleah. and it DON'T connect to my comp again. really irritated. is it my comp prob??

probably.

Bleah.

And last last week was the entre camp. IT was really quite fun! :D For one, i managed to visit the cemetery FOR THE FIRST TIME OF MY LIFE! and tan tok seng's son and daughter in law's tomb. not as creepy as i thot. but def tiring ttm. And i managed to talked to some ppl i've not talked to before, ernest, edmund and jingyun etc. BUT bleah. alot of them thot i was j1 -.- even ernest huh. weird.

Then came the o games (the chairs are really tiresome man! >.<) and it was quite fun, managed to talk to some juniors like jiajun and chris etc :)

But then aish... things get a bit weird since the o games. Apparently according to pei, i am quite er... i dunno so-called popular in entre and ppl are actually noticin me more than i thot. For one, i thot e______ was quite cute cause i like his serious look at work but then at the end of the event, j_______ asked for my no in a very da1shan4 way instead (but where got guys dashan girls and name them 'the china women'??? 0.0), then that night i went on facebook and talked to ________. This results in a lot of smses btw me, j________ and _________ the next day and subsequently, a lot of late night facebook chat with ________ and went out to study with j________ on friday! How weird. Now its really gettin a bit too busy for me to handle. and accordin to pei again, her EXPERT (yeah. right.) six sense tells her e_______t is quite int in me too cuz of e way he looks at me or some rubbish, but she's CERTAIN ch__________r is interested in me. I've never known i am this popular with guys huh... totally overwhelmed. Can't see any reason EVERYTHING is from entre! i mean, the entre camp and o games were one of my most unglam, chor loh and african-like (all the sun is fadin me into the bg) moments in my life! Where in the world did all these ppl come from??? I see no attractive moments throughout.

bleah. all i can say is guys are weird with weird taste and yes, it has been proven.

and sadness. i ve not been studyin much and THE GUILT IS LIKE AN ONUS ON ME! >.<

I shall make a mental note to blog more. Blogging IS actually quite fun in terms of reading those weird and horrifically incredible thoughts you used to have (but conveniently forgotten), :) And reading my past posts actually makes ME thinking that i AM (or was at least) an entertaining person. :D

Anyway, as you can tell from my caption, my life is primarily focus on nothing (that was a hyperbole apparently but enough to stress my frustration :) ) but

HANDPHONES!

This sense of direction-less can easily be illustrated through my sacrifice of sleep to browse thorugh all those lan diao phone specifications and going through endless article / youtube critiques on phones. My eyes are so dry and tired they feel like they are gonna roll out this very second... -.- Yes, another hyperbole i know (btw my fav subject now is lit if you haven't realised :D it was my best grade for terms :D) but honestly depicts my feeling to the best. It is FIVE AM I TELL YOU. disturbingly unearthly. Maybe i should just go sleepless for the day.

Insane thoughts you have when you are not sleeping XD

Back to the topic, phones currently on my list now is quite satisfying long, good evidence to prove my extensive researches done and also my greediness (the s'porean streak of kiasu-ism in me i suppose).

SAMSUNG
1. Eternity
2. Omnia
3. Ultratouch

SONY ERRISSON
1. w902

HTC
1. Touch HD

APPLE :D
1. iphone of course lah :)

Anyway, my ideal is actually iphone despite my reluctance to succumb to its monopolistic powers, its cool interface and ALL THE INTERESTING GAMES/APPS just win face down. I 've not had phone games for so many years and all the sucky no-connection-to-pc phones all sum up to this atrocious big craving for games and such. Especially since my ipod is getting all kixiao and the dark streak across my screen is also getting unbearable. BUT know what? life sucks. (not news actually)

STARHUB  DON'T OFFER IPHONES!!!!!!

Where does it think it is? Mars where apple is unheard of is it? Apple iphone is a must-get kinda phone and starhub didn't manage to!!! such unpardonable crime!!! So this means i am left [a] get a contract-less phone or [b] get another phone which is way more likely. :(

Again i have to reiterate: LIFE SUCKS. you never get to enjoy indulgences you deserve.

AND I DESERVE AN IPHONE I TELL YOU!!! *pouts*

HAHA YES! i actually remembered that i have a blog! :D such good memories i must admit. :D

well, actually my main purpose up here is to set a written reminder on my goals for this year:

1. GET ALL AS FOR A LEVEL
2. GET ALL AS FOR A LEVEL
3. GET ALL AS FOR A LEVEL
4. GET ALL AS FOR ALEVEL
5. GET ALL AS FORALEVEL
6. GET ALL ASFORALEVEL
7. GET ALLASFORALEVEL
7. GETALLASFORALEVEL
8. IONLYWANTASASASASASASASANDNOTHINGELSE!

Nope. i am not asking too much and nope, this is not MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3/4/5. I know i can do it! i mean, ITS ONLY A LEVELS, HOW HARD CAN IT BE?! ahahahaha....

ok.

maybe quite hard.

YES I KNOW ITS HARD.

but life is hard anyway, so does sleeping,eating and pooing (for me at least :D)

SO WELCOME TO MY LIFE :D (unnaturally wicious XD)

Oh my oh my, even me myself stare at the lj layout in disbelief: I AM ACTUALLY WRITING PERSONAL BLOG POSTS (which i used to scorn and laugh at) 0.0

And proudly i say, its inspired by A_______!!! XD I bet you dunno i am actually spying on you secretly using your blog posts! And yes, no worries, i will continue to do so. :)

Her blog is irritatingly interesting (perhaps even addictive) i must say. >.< And while i am browsing through her words, a random thought just blasted my head off: why don't you have your own blog???

Blogs actually can serve me in many ways:

1. MAYBE it can somehow salvage my landiao-ing english (my level is barely comparable to my mom's i tell you, who is learning COnverstaional English Level 1 now -beams!-) through all the so-called 'practices' i can get through 'writing' in blogs.
-at least i tried. :)

2. I've never been able to successfully keep a diary for more than 3 days and i shall clear myself of this shame ONCE and for all :D
(yes, one of my uncountable newly updated CNY resolutions again)

3. I actually LOVE reading all the childish and jejune stuff i wrote last time SO i shall continue this great practice of leaving my mark wherever / whenever i go -> great for future reminiscing purpose / entertainment through self mockery even when i am alone in a desert :)
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The list actually goes on BUT i've no patience to list all those standard and mundane answers you see on 'The Top 10 Advantages of Blogs' articles. Not to mention since EVERYONE (ok, so maybe quite a lot of them) has a blog, they already have all the points in their heads you see.

-Yawns-

First blog post and seriously, i am still clueless on what i should blog about. It seems so natural to everyone else but me. BUT no worries all the fans who are reading this right now (whom i presume is nobody :) ), I will proceed to deliberate over a more interesting topic over my morning run (yes, incredibly fabulous me is actually having morning runs WHILE shamelessly hanging on to 3 mths MC. you say you hate me? Wow, thanks :D) and TRY (stresses once more) & TRY to get something less mind dulling up here the next time.

-Yawns-

In case you haven't get the hint, that was a cue from my brains for my half-open eyes to let it rest.

Nights everybody :)